$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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