i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
