i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
