I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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