i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
