problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
