i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
