i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
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