i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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