Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
