In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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