We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
