Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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