update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
