You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
