i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
