ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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