3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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