is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
