clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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