In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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