seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
