i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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