I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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