just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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