My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
