he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
