Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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