i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
