Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
