just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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