i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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