Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Want to have sex later?

(614): View more from Ohio

This feels like a trap

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(646): View more from New York

You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face

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(530): View more from California

Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.

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(219): View more from Indiana

If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!

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(469): View more from Texas

I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!

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