ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The Olympian is in my bed
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
