That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
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