You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
