I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
