i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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