how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
