When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My hand turned me down
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
