No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize