I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Randomize
