You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
