Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
