Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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