Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
What a dumb baby whore.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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