Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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