At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
