she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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