For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
