He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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