a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You are a genius and a whore.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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