If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
