I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
