WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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