Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
