Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
