apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Less talking, more tequila
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
