a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
