Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i think i have herpe
just one?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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