Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
