He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
that's an acceptable place to lick
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
