WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
