I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
