Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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